When someone reblogs an ancient post from your blog, one that wasn’t even tagged
i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done
What if it bites me and it dies?
that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.
What if it bites itself and I die?
What if it bites me and someone else dies?
That’s correlation, not causation.
what if we bite each other and neither of us die
oh my god
this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever
how do i ask a boy out
roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two
OH MY GOD NO
twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car
row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream
I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory